While Kissler said that such dynamics can work out if they're give-and-take (some people enjoy the game), Kotler pointed out that it's important to bail as soon as it starts affecting your self-esteem. All the panelists—all dating experts throughout time, really—agreed that when meeting someone for the first time confidence is key. It's easy to get stuck in a rut of pursuing someone romantically who may or may not be interested—whether it's a friend or just an acquaintance. Serrano also suggested complimenting a nice trait about the person you're approaching for an easy opening line. Kistser said that it's important to remember that when you get turned down, it's not a judgment on you but on your chemistry with someone else—and no one's going to be compatible with everybody. Since we are fast approaching an extended Labor Day holiday weekend, I figured I would grace all of my readers with another one of my online love for dummies posts… Should you happen to be single and reading this, than you probably fall into one of three camps: : You are officially fed up with meeting the horny meat and/or airheads that frequent your local bar scene.Therefore, you have decided to get serious about finding love amongst the horny meat and/or airheads that make up the online dating scene.In that same vein, it might be fun to take the search offline and check your local women’s bookstore for queer events— here in New York we have Bluestockings bookstore, which has book readings and open mics going on almost every night of the week (and there are many sexy librarian-types usually in attendance.
If you are a geek, what one tidbit would be imperative to getting to know you?Luckily, there was a panel of experts for that, too. Those in attendance were lucky enough to get relationship advice from a who's who of amorous geeks, including Elliott Serrano and Kate Kotler (of the Bleeding Cool column Keep Your Pants On), "Sizzler" Alan Kissler (host of the Crazy Sexy Geek podcast AND author of a cookbook), Keisha Howard (of the site Sugargamers, made by and for lady geeks everywhere) and Anna Allen (from Nerds at Heart, a geeky dating site). When it comes time to pick the place for your first date, go to a place you'll both enjoy, said Kotler. Believe it or not, the responsibility of ending up in the Friend Zone is on you, Howard said. Kotler added that it's important to be obvious, open, and direct (but don't be creepy). Someone in the audience asked when it's the right time to get someone's number. Together with moderator Laura Green (a Chicago musician and self-professed nerd) the panel helped audience members with their questions of troubled love. The panelists agree that meeting online is great (whether through Facebook, Twitter or specific dating sites), but you've got to plan to make the transition to real life ASAP. If you enjoy geeky activities, you probably end up waiting in line for those activities book 7 hook-ups out there? This may seem obvious, but first dates are not the time to bring someone totally into your nerdy world if they aren't there already. Speaking of your geeky world, the panelists acknowledged that you shouldn't delve too far into your specialized interests early in the relationship, although it's important to mention them. Kotler again: a first date should only last one to two hours. After all, not knowing whether there's any interest in the other party is awful. Geek is a very broad term and really only means that someone is passionately involved with something.Geeks come in all shapes and sizes and their interests are incredibly diverse, just ask Scott Johnson the creator of The 56 Geek Project.